Wow, look what I dug up
This was a post I posted on my old LiveJournal...
Just got off the phone with the love of my life, my ex boyfriend. We were together for 7 years on and off from the ages of 15-22. Him and I were SOOO in love with each other. Basically lifestyle differences are what kept us from being together. When I was 15, he had JUST came from Mexico, he was 18. He didn't speak a word of english. He went to my high school when I was a cheerleader. He was in the ELS classes with all the other kids from Mexico who couldn't speak english. I always felt so sorry for those kids. In a new world with a new language and they always stuck together like glue. I always befriended them. Saying "hola" to them in the halls. Then one day, a new kid was in the group. He would always smile and stare at me. It's almost like a 90210 thing, I'd be walking with my "cool" friends down the hall and out of the corner of my eye, I would see him and I would smile at him and he'd smile back. I couldn't let my "cool" friends see me fraternizing with the ESL kids. But he was the cutest thing I'd ever seen in my 15 years of life. My parents were always talking about a Mexican restaurant they would always go to but being 15, I was always too cool to go to a restaurant with my parents. AS IF! ;) One day, my girlfriend I decided to go to this restaurant. She prolly didn't have a drivers license at the time, but her parents never cared and let her take the car where ever. As we're driving to the place, this white van pulls out in front of us and totally cuts us off. We were honking and flipping off the van and yelling out the window at this van. We continue to the restaurant and sure as hell, the van ahead of us pulls into the parking lot of the place too. He gets out of the van, and lo and behold it's HIM!!!! There he was, just there smiling at me again. Come to find out, his brother owned the restaurant and he worked there. We ordered our food and spoke broken basic english and spanish to each other. From that day on, I went to the restaurant every single day. Shortly after, we were together and I taught him english. 7 years later, seems that our cultural differences were really separating us. In Mexico, by 20, a girl is married and having children already. At 20 in the U.S, I was partying like a rock star with a fake ID.
I moved to CA and tried to forget about him, but I couldn't. And apparently he couldn't forget about me either, cuz he FOUND me. He came one day to where I lived and called me from the local mall. At that point, I hadn't heard or seen him for 10 months. I was still VERY close with his family, but they were under strict orders not to tell him where I was or what my phone number is. They still deny till this day that they gave him the info, but anyhow, he got me. And there were go again, dating again, 2 months later, I moved back to NV. Things were a bit different this time. I was only going to be back in NV for 6 months and he had a girlfriend back in Mexico. Time was coming for me to go back to CA and time for him to go back to Mexico. He had to get married. I begged him not to go, and to come to CA with me and marry me. We cried for hours and hours on the phone. He said he could never live with himself if he married me and ruined my life like that. He said I had a bright future in the world and he was just a poor sole from Mexico that wouldn't be able to give me the things I deserved. He said he loved me too much to do that to me. And so it ends. For the final last time. 3 years later, he's married and they had a baby girl. I was devastated. I was the one who was suppose to have his children. I was the one who he was suppose to marry and live happily ever after with. I had never thought about my future without him in it. And now he wasn't in my life. Although his family still was. They always consoled me. His nieces and nephews still called me Tia. His sister still called me her sister in law.
6 years has past since we ended it for good. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. He IS the love of my life and I can honestly truly say that he is the one that God made for me. I've never loved anyone like I love him. And even though I'm used to him being married and having a child, I can't stop loving him. I'm STILL very close to his family and even now party with his niece and nephew. They go to Mexico twice a year and always see him and come back and tell me "Curry said to tell you he still loves you very much and he misses you". He decided to take matter into his own hands and called me himself about a year ago. We've been in contact since then. We've concurred that we haven't lost one ounce of love for each other. But he's married and lives in Mexico with his wife, mom and daughter. I live in USA in my own house all by myself. He wants to divorce his wife, but he's afraid that she'll take his daughter away and also his wife is the caretaker of his elderly and disabled mom. He's stuck. But he longs to be with me and I long to be with him.
Sigh.
Just got off the phone with the love of my life, my ex boyfriend. We were together for 7 years on and off from the ages of 15-22. Him and I were SOOO in love with each other. Basically lifestyle differences are what kept us from being together. When I was 15, he had JUST came from Mexico, he was 18. He didn't speak a word of english. He went to my high school when I was a cheerleader. He was in the ELS classes with all the other kids from Mexico who couldn't speak english. I always felt so sorry for those kids. In a new world with a new language and they always stuck together like glue. I always befriended them. Saying "hola" to them in the halls. Then one day, a new kid was in the group. He would always smile and stare at me. It's almost like a 90210 thing, I'd be walking with my "cool" friends down the hall and out of the corner of my eye, I would see him and I would smile at him and he'd smile back. I couldn't let my "cool" friends see me fraternizing with the ESL kids. But he was the cutest thing I'd ever seen in my 15 years of life. My parents were always talking about a Mexican restaurant they would always go to but being 15, I was always too cool to go to a restaurant with my parents. AS IF! ;) One day, my girlfriend I decided to go to this restaurant. She prolly didn't have a drivers license at the time, but her parents never cared and let her take the car where ever. As we're driving to the place, this white van pulls out in front of us and totally cuts us off. We were honking and flipping off the van and yelling out the window at this van. We continue to the restaurant and sure as hell, the van ahead of us pulls into the parking lot of the place too. He gets out of the van, and lo and behold it's HIM!!!! There he was, just there smiling at me again. Come to find out, his brother owned the restaurant and he worked there. We ordered our food and spoke broken basic english and spanish to each other. From that day on, I went to the restaurant every single day. Shortly after, we were together and I taught him english. 7 years later, seems that our cultural differences were really separating us. In Mexico, by 20, a girl is married and having children already. At 20 in the U.S, I was partying like a rock star with a fake ID.
I moved to CA and tried to forget about him, but I couldn't. And apparently he couldn't forget about me either, cuz he FOUND me. He came one day to where I lived and called me from the local mall. At that point, I hadn't heard or seen him for 10 months. I was still VERY close with his family, but they were under strict orders not to tell him where I was or what my phone number is. They still deny till this day that they gave him the info, but anyhow, he got me. And there were go again, dating again, 2 months later, I moved back to NV. Things were a bit different this time. I was only going to be back in NV for 6 months and he had a girlfriend back in Mexico. Time was coming for me to go back to CA and time for him to go back to Mexico. He had to get married. I begged him not to go, and to come to CA with me and marry me. We cried for hours and hours on the phone. He said he could never live with himself if he married me and ruined my life like that. He said I had a bright future in the world and he was just a poor sole from Mexico that wouldn't be able to give me the things I deserved. He said he loved me too much to do that to me. And so it ends. For the final last time. 3 years later, he's married and they had a baby girl. I was devastated. I was the one who was suppose to have his children. I was the one who he was suppose to marry and live happily ever after with. I had never thought about my future without him in it. And now he wasn't in my life. Although his family still was. They always consoled me. His nieces and nephews still called me Tia. His sister still called me her sister in law.
6 years has past since we ended it for good. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. He IS the love of my life and I can honestly truly say that he is the one that God made for me. I've never loved anyone like I love him. And even though I'm used to him being married and having a child, I can't stop loving him. I'm STILL very close to his family and even now party with his niece and nephew. They go to Mexico twice a year and always see him and come back and tell me "Curry said to tell you he still loves you very much and he misses you". He decided to take matter into his own hands and called me himself about a year ago. We've been in contact since then. We've concurred that we haven't lost one ounce of love for each other. But he's married and lives in Mexico with his wife, mom and daughter. I live in USA in my own house all by myself. He wants to divorce his wife, but he's afraid that she'll take his daughter away and also his wife is the caretaker of his elderly and disabled mom. He's stuck. But he longs to be with me and I long to be with him.
Sigh.
posted by Valerie at 10:56 AM
6 Comments:
The Nemesis of emotional attachments,which forces us to accept the Hobson's choice.
Wow that is some heavy stuff, Val.
el es un pollo!!! he should have never left! actually, that story makes me mad...sorry. and i'm sorry YOU had to be on the other end of that triangle...Grrr...
That was sad.
(did i say that spanish right? becuase i think it means he is a chicken!)
Yeah, tell me about it girls. After my brother dying, that was the next hardest thing to go through in my life. It is very sad. I'm very sad that we couldn't "adjust" to eachothers lifestyles. I love him very much.
and yes, Tanya, you called him a chicken. Good job! =)
Wow, unbelieveable. That story makes me think differently about my own man problems. My former Mr. Right thinks our relationship is too far gone to repair it, I still wanted to try but once a man's mind is made up on certain things it's tough to get past. I'm living that every day. Sigh....(right back at you)
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